...Ten years ago my life drastically changed. I became a mommy to Avery Marie Elizabeth...
At 19, I had no idea what the next ten years would hold....
God has used mommy-hood to refine me into who I am today...because of Ave I am more selfless, I have learned how to die to my own needs...daily...though sometimes I'm not very good at it :( But each day is a NEW day, and I love being a mommy! Through this refinement, I often come home and laundry isn't done, dishes are in the sink (which, if you know me, I'm OCD about clealiness :-)), my laundry isn't always done, but Ave's is, I'm sporting one pair of jeans, but Avery is getting to dance, play volleyball, and sleep in a cozy warm bed in an area we feel safe. And more so than my cleanliness OCD - which, I've begun to let go in exchange for...... doing my absolute best in raising Avery. This doesn't just mean playing multiple games of Uno, or Webkinz, or coaching volleyball games, or rushing to lunch at school over my lunch break, or trading all adult movies for kid movies...but more than that its praying and creating an environment where she can become a young lady who has a beautifully refined character...one that points people to her Lord and Savior...the one who gave her to me to raise on this earth...ten sweet years ago. I often drop into bed at night...and look up...thinking "Lord...how on earth am I doing? Can you just send me a message in a bottle? Am I doing you proud? Will she love you when I'm not around? Will her life point people to you?" And next thing I know, I'm waking up to the sun shining and Lola wagging her tail... :-)
And time for me to start a new day...TRUSTING in Him that I AM doing okay...and reminding myself that today is a NEW day...and that He is still walking with me on this journey that began ten years ago with my 8lb 11 oz baby girl :)....Phew! I am one thankful Mamma! :-)
Last night I went to tuck in Aves...we did out routine...devotional, prayers, snuggle, and then...9 kisses on the cheek, 9 eskimo kisses, and 9 butterly kisses...And then I said "man...tomorrow its 10 eskimos, 10 cheeks, and 10 butterflies!" To which Avery replied "oh, sad...do 9 again mommy!"
Aw....I love it. I love that she loves my kisses. Who doesn't love their mom's kisses...
My mom still kisses us on the cheek...and nothing compares. It just feels like "home"...
***Thank you Jesus for turning my mess into something beautiful.....
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